Expectations

Somewhere along the way I’d lost focus.  I used to have friends.  Way back there in Erie, I was a part of a fun mom group.

None of this lone wolf stuff.

I had joined my local MOPS group in September, hoping this was my in.  After all, these were my people:  other moms looking for a break and friendship.  What else could happen but great and amazing connection?

Except, they all seemed connected already.  I have struggled through the past months wondering if I will ever feel like I belong.

Then God decided to whisper words to my heart:  they are not meant to complete you.  Wait, what? I want friends, not completed!

“You want them to fill a void; only I can do that.”

Ouch, just ouch.  He was right though.  I had placed impossible standards on women who were facing so many of my struggles and daily concerns.  

It was unfair to them and to myself.

Today I walked in and decided to bless whomever I was with.  No expectations, just me being the person I was hoping for. 

 It is freeing to be comfortable as you are.

I was an enjoyable meeting.  I need to remember my empty tank says more about me and how I choose to fuel myself than the company I’m keeping.

We need to remember God alone fills voids.  The moment we expect others to complete us is the time we set ourselves up for disappointment.  Praying you can walk in any situation with confidence and knowledge of God’s love for you.

*For more on the subject of friendship, loneliness, and navigating social situations check out Lysa Terkeurst’s Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely.  Another great resource is Lisa-Jo Baker’s book, Never Unfriended: The Secret to Finding and Keeping Lasting Friendships.